The Princess and the Pants
by Amara Z
Summary: Han had wanted to get into Leia's pants for years, but not quite like this.


Leia was so entrenched in blissful sleep it took several minutes for the buzzing permeating her bedroom to begin to penetrate her dreams. Comfortably snuggled up to Han, she was lost in images of warm, sunny days and of meadows she hadn't seen the likes of in years. So much so that she barely paid attention to the noise at first. As it droned on, though, she grew more annoyed and shifted restlessly on the bed in response. If the noise would just stop, everything would be perfect. But it didn't and she could feel herself drifting into consciousness.

Her first thought was some demonic bee had made it into her bedroom, its personal mission to torment her. Remembering there was no such thing as bees on Coruscant, she disengaged herself from Han and pushed to sitting. Her hair ran wild around her and she gently pushed the strands to one side as her eyes searched the room for her tormenter. Her eyes finally settled on her nightstand and she realized the sound wasn't coming from some mutant insect, but her communicator. Swiping it off the nightstand, she hit the button to answer.

"This is Organa," she said trying to sound more awake than she really was.

Hearing Leia's voice was enough to make Han stir. Opening an eye, he glanced at the chrono and wondered who would be calling at the unholy hour of 0600. It was barely sunrise by that time. Deciding it was much too early to get up, he rolled towards Leia and threw an arm across her legs and laid his head on her lap. Hearing just her side of the conversation, he could only guess who was on the comm.

"What do you mean she doesn't have the report? I gave it to her yesterday….. Oh. I should have another copy…No. There's no need to do that." Leia's eyes dropped to Han's half awake form. She ran some of her fingers through his hair and his grip on her tightened, a soft smile coming to his face. "I can drop it off on my way in….I understand. I'll see you shortly then. Organa out."

Han's hand had been working its way up her thigh, something that would normally catch her attention. But this time, she barely noticed. The motion eventually broke through her racing thoughts and her hand clamped down on his and pried it off. Pushing at his shoulder with one hand, she none too delicately shoved him off of her and was out of bed in a single jump.

Intensely curious, Han sat up, watching his Princess turn into a whirlwind of activity, scrambling around the room, and grabbing clothes off the floor. "Leia, what's going on? Who was that?"

"Mon's assistant. She's on her way here," she answered. He watched as Leia tugged on her panties. "The datadisc I gave her is corrupted and Mon needs a new copy of my report for a meeting first thing this morning."

She snapped her bra into place and gave him a long, level stare. "Which means I've got to find the spare disc. And you've got to get out of here."

"Ok." Sleep still lingered at the edges of Han's mind and it took a moment for her words to register. He moved to sit on the edge of bed still considering what she had said and came to the conclusion it didn't make any sense. "Wait. Why do I have to leave?"

Leia stopped pulling on her blouse and stared at him. "Han, be serious. She can't find you here."

"Leia, relax. It's not that big of a deal." Han rose slowly from the bed and crossed over to her. As he stood in front of her, he ran his hands down her arms and kissed her lightly on the forehead. He could only hope the motion would calm her down. "We love each other. And it's not like people don't know we're together."

Leia pulled away with a low growl. Grabbing the first pants she found on the floor, she glared at him as she began to put them on. "It's one thing for people to know you're my…," she hesitated as she searched for the right word, "consort, Han. It's quite another thing to throw it in their face," she returned as she yanked the pants over her hips.

"That doesn't mean I need to leave. You don't trust me to be quiet back here for five minutes?"

"Han, please. I'm not going to argue with you right now." Her hands went back to her blouse, finishing the process of closing it before they went to her hair, deftly twisting it into loose bun.

Han put his hands on his hips, his expression souring by the minute. "Since when do you care what other people think?"

"Since I'm still the last royal heir of Alderaan, that's when."

"So…what? That's it? You're just going to throw me out like yesterday's garbage?" he asked with a scowl.

She straightened from gathering the rest of the clothes from the floor and placed a hand on his chest. "Han, come on. It's not like that." Han crossed his arms and she knew he wasn't going to budge.

She let out a harsh breath and shoved the batch of clothes she held at him. "Fine. But at least get dressed."

She headed for the door. "I'll tell them we had an early meeting. Of course, it might not be so believable when we're wearing yesterday's clothes," she threw over her shoulder as she stepped out of the room.

Leia strode quickly to the small desk and cabinet she kept in the corner of her living room. The sooner she could find the disc the better off she'd be. She started with the stacks of discs scattered around the desk, but after checking several of the piles, the datadisc in question had yet to materialize.

She was still rummaging through them when Han called out from the bedroom. "Leia, can you come here for a moment?"

"I'm kind of busy right now." Shaking her head, she gave up on her desk and shifted to her filing cabinet.

"Leia…"

"Han, whatever it is, just figure it out," she groused as her hands worked through of the contents of her cabinet.

She had no sooner put her hand on the disc she needed when she heard her name again, this time much louder and closer than before. Startled, she spun around to face him and her mouth dropped open.

Han was standing just behind her and wearing, of all things, her pants. They fell just below his knees and somehow he had fit them over his hips, but hadn't closed them all the way. She was sure they would have cut off all circulation if he had. On her they were very flattering and comfortable pants. On him, they seemed like some kind of Imperial torture device.

Leia laughed, but saw Han glowering at her, and choked back the rest of her laughter.

"What in stars possessed you to put on my pants?"

"You took mine," he shot back and pointed to what she was wearing. Glancing down, she realized that, indeed, they were his. They were just as soft as anything she might wear only twice as sturdy. But how had she not noticed the excess of material surrounding her? And the red bloodstripes running down the side should have been a dead giveaway. Her eyes met his again, her brows knitting together.

"You couldn't just wrap up in a sheet?"

Han glared at her, clearly ready to blame her for the whole thing. "You weren't listening. I had to get your attention somehow."

Leia couldn't help but smile as she walked over to him. No one seemed able to catch her attention like he could. Or break her out of a tizzy either. She shook her head. "You certainly did at that."

As the initial shock passed, she was less afraid she was going to burst out laughing again and her eyes ran up and down him freely. "I must say one thing though. I really have to think about getting some smaller clothes if you can actually fit in them."

"I've been saying that for years, Princess," he said with a grin. "But, now, if you're done, you're the one with the visitor coming and I'd like my pants back before they get here." He sounded serious, but his fingers dipped into the waistband of the pants, tugging her closer. It was an intimate gesture, one she was quite familiar with, and as she stared up at him she wondered briefly if he was going to kiss her. Instead, he held her gaze as he tugged again and took a step backwards towards the bedroom, taking her with him.

But they had lingered a moment too long and had barely taken another step when they heard outer apartment door open followed by heavy footfalls making their way through the foyer. A familiar voice filled the room. "Leia? Are you here?"

Both of them froze. It was much too late for either of them to make it to the bedroom. And both of them were too mortified, and too old, to dive for cover before Luke appeared at the edge of the living room. His eyes were as big as saucers as he took in the sight before him. He didn't know which was more unnerving – his sister in spacer's pants with Han's fingers stuck in the waistline or Han in something that at best could be described as knickers. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I knocked, but I guess you didn't hear me."

Leia stood stock still, unsure of how to respond. What could she say that would even remotely salvage the situation? "I guess we didn't," she said finally. "Is there something you needed, Luke?"

"I'm heading back to Yavin today and we had plans for breakfast." His face fell. "Don't tell me you forgot."

Leia cringed and looked away. This day was really not starting out so well. "I must have. I'm sorry. We're having a bit of a…situation here this morning."

Luke's eyes finally tracked back to Han and a hand went to his mouth as he tried hard not to smile. "I can see that."

Flushing with guilt, Leia ventured a look at Han and immediately wished she hadn't. His face was so red he could easily pass for a Zeltron. And he had yet to say anything, his lips so tightly pressed together they were almost folding in on themselves. He was staring daggers at Luke and when the Jedi opened his mouth to speak again, Han stabbed a finger at him.

"Not a word, Skywalker. I mean it."

Han rounded on Leia and she could tell she was going to owe him for this one. Big time. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder indicating exactly where he was going. The tone in his voice brooked no argument. "Leia…"

Leia nodded her understanding. "I'll be right there," she replied and Han stalked off to the bedroom muttering about idiot Jedi and their equally crazy sisters.

After Han was gone, Luke and Leia looked at one another and unable to contain themselves, they burst out laughing. Han was going to kill them for this for sure. Luke crossed over to his sister and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I really am sorry, Leia," he told her. "I should have tuned into you before barging in."

Leia shook her head. "He'll get over it. I hope. We're having a bad morning around here apparently." She gestured towards the bedroom. "Let me get changed and we can go."

Luke nodded and Leia began to walk away, but quickly turned back. "If Mon's assistant comes by, give her this, would you?" she asked and held out the datadisc to him.

"Sure," he replied and took the disc.

They both felt a pulse of undeniable frustration come from the direction of the bedroom. It had both of them jumping and eyeing at the bedroom door just before they heard Han's bellow.

"Leia! Bedroom. Now!"

Noting the concern on Luke's face, Leia patted her brother reassuringly on the arm. "Don't worry about it, Luke. He says that all the time," she said with a grin and turned on her heel to leave. Luke groaned and swore this would be the last time he would ever disturb his sister this early in the morning.


End file.
